My Crazy Aunt and Her Dog Psychic

My aunt -hereafter to be known as my crazy aunt- sent me an email the other day, from which I've culled some interesting bits.  She has two dogs, Lissa and Daisy.  Larry is her husband.  Here's what she wrote, with my commentary in bracketed italics:

"I had an animal psychic come today.  [Most rational people would stop reading the email at this point, as I did until I thought to blog it.] Here's what she said: Lissa told her "2" ----did we have any idea why? No.  When she drove up she immediately got a feeling of peace and got more in the house...the dogs are very happy here.  Lissa is an "Old Soul" who wants nothing more than to please.  [A border collie mutt.  Duh.] Lissa doesn't have enough to do...she needs something for her mind, she's incredibly smart.  The psychic warned us to absolutely trust Lissa 100% in her judgments of people. She's looking out for us.  [She's a dog; that's what they do.] She doesn't like chaos. She's very grateful for the peace here. she doesn't like to travel because it's so important for her to be here. I told her about our summer home and she clarified that it's the peace that we create...Larry and me specifically...the environment.   [Note how psychic's opinion changes to fit the new facts she's been given.] 

Then she asked us did Daisy have health issues? I thought she didn't want to shock us.   Well, yes. [No!?  Really?  A 13-year-old Labrador with a limp?  Shocking perceptiveness on the part of that psychic.]  She said that Daisy doesn't feel well. (I had not offered all this up.) That she hurts, that she's depressed...that she has a lot of pride and is even stubborn about it at times. She knows we just want to help her. Her left hip hurts her particularly and warmth would help it, just the warmth of a hand.  [Gosh, warmth for joint pain.  What a brilliant psychic deduction.]  She needs massage. She's very depressed about not being able to get around the way she used to. She doesn't want us to lift her! She just needs encouragement......we should get cushions for her to jump off the bed onto.......and she doesn't like the tile in the kitchen because she has trouble getting around.......she likes carpet  [Can you believe this crap?  That's not psychic - that's looking around the room and stating facts.] Most of all, though, Daisy is proud and if she needs our help to get on the bed, she will come and put her paw on us.....that's what she's telling the psychic.  [She's telling the psychic taht?  A 13-year-old arthritic Labrador needs help getting up on a two-foot high bed.  Yeah.  I'm sure the psychic got that information from the dog and not -say- from looking at the bed.]  She likes water very much and needs to swim.  [That's it.  Someone nominate this psychic for a Nobel Prize: it turns out Labradors like water!]  that's the only time she's not in pain when she's not on pain pills.  [Again: duh.]   I do have a massage tape for dogs somewhere, maybe I'll actually view it and see what I can learn."

And that's the edited version.  I don't know what bothers me more: that this fraudulent "psychic" is going around ripping people off, or that my aunt is crazy enough to believe it.  Holy shit.  What is wrong with people?