When you yelled at my children, I thought they must have done something wrong; you certainly scared them. And you had me at a disadvantage, because you convinced me that bicycles are prohibited on Commonwealth Avenue Mall. Having now read the sign very carefully, I see that it doesn't say anything about bikes. So I want to say I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I didn't give you more of a piece of my mind. I'm sorry I didn't explain that your bitterness comes from having a stupid little dog instead of children. I'm sorry I didn't tell your husband that his wife is a large troll when he accused me of failing to supervise my children. (For the record, I was supervising my children and someone else's, and they were all behaving perfectly well.) But I stand by one thing I said: Don't ever yell at my children again, you obnoxious, pompous, ignorant troll.